looking on the bright side

Will say that I am thoroughly appreciating being able to walk and/or take public transportation everywhere. Have not once had the inclination to drive a car...though I have to say that going grocery shopping this morning was a little more difficult than what I'm used to. You can't buy more than you can carry for several blocks. Have also noticed that I have indeed lost weight in the last two weeks. Not entirely healthy weight-loss, but now that I have groceries I should be able to make my own lunches & dinners. And when I am able to have a one-on-one conversation with a native Spaniard, for example one of my roommates or the roommate's brother, I do feel that I am improving my listening and speaking skills as well as learning more about the culture. So a few goals being achieved. Very nice.

My grocery shopping trip this morning yielded another lesson in culture. I was wandering around the store with my cart, trying to figure out what the hell half the stuff was and where I might find the stuff I wanted, and I saw the produce stand with veggies & fruit and all that stuff on it. The only onions they had were fresh ones, with the green stalks still on, so I grabbed a bunch. But then I didn't see the garlic cloves anywhere and I'd been around the store once already, so I asked the store employee standing next to me where they were, and his first reply, though I didn't catch all of it, had something to do with the onions rather than the garlic. He seemed irritated with me. Eventually I figured out that I was not supposed to touch the produce. Instead, I was supposed to tell the produce man what I wanted and he would get it and bag it for me. Oops! Live and learn, right? So note to all foreign grocery shoppers in Spain: whatever you do, don't touch the produce. Wait for someone to help you get what you need.

I did not go out last night. I fell asleep and slept a long time...maybe 12 hours. In my sleep, I found myself. I didn't even know I was lost, that's how lost I was. I realized in my sleep that this last week has not been enjoyable for me, nor have I been the person I want to be, nor am I getting what I want out of the course. I'm stressing too much about the school work and forgetting to enjoy life. It's made me serious and irritable. I think that from now on I'm going to focus on what really matters (the teaching practice, the parts of the assignments that I'm actually learning from, etc.) and put my energy into that instead of sweating all the details. This is not my normal attitude toward work and school, but we just don't have time during this course to do everything perfectly and maintain our sanity as well. So I've done some homework today, but I've decided to go out tonight instead of staying home to do homework as I'd originally planned. It will be good for me.