blissfully silent

I´ve been home alone for the last two hours and the house is blissfully silent. I ate some chicken with peanut curry (which I made again yesterday) when I got home from my private lesson (switched to today on account of the puente on Friday) and have been geeking out on email and Facebook ever since. Have not had to listen to other people's music or the sound of pots and pans banging around in the kitchen. It's very dark outside and I've lit a scented candle and I feel like I have my own private little retreat. Aahhh... Now all I'm missing is a massage.

The last few weeks have been very difficult emotionally. I've been yo-yoing back and forth between wanting to settle in Portland after Christmas and wanting to stick it out with Madrid and try to make the most of this experience. But in the last three or four days I've been feeling much better and am actually looking forward to coming back to Madrid after Christmas. I look forward to all the traveling I'll be able to do this spring. And now that my social life is picking up a bit, I'm feeling like I might be able to make a few more close friends...or at least keep myself busy. My change in mood is also aided by a rapidly approaching pay day. Being poor isn't fun no matter where you are. Though at least I don't have it as bad as those ex-employees of Nova in Japan who are broke and homeless!

I'm completely smitten with the idea of spending a week or so in Bavaria. I don't know where the idea came from all of a sudden...maybe remembering family's and friend's pictures from their travels in the Alps or something...but now I can't get it out of my head. It looks absolutely gorgeous: lush forests, fairybook castles, quaint villages. Now I just have to figure out the how and when. Hmm...

The girls and I are supposed to head to Toledo tomorrow for the day. Will see whether that actually happens. I have a feeling tonight is going to be a late one for us.

busy bee

Being busy is both a blessing and a curse. On the one hand I feel productive and well-connected to people here, but on the other hand I haven´t had much time to keep up on blogging or emailing, which makes me feel less connected to my loved ones at home. Please know that I miss and love you all and will respond to your emails as soon as I can.

The hike on Sunday was fantastic. There were eleven of us in all, which is a bigger group than I expected, and everyone had a great time. In fact, several people have told me in the last few days how much they appreciated the organizing efforts and that they´d like to do the hike again sometime. Very gratifying. I did take a bunch of pictures, but then I got the brilliant idea to modify some of them, so when I uploaded them onto Facebook they came out all funky and now I have to redo the whole thing. That´s one of the things I have not yet had time for. But rest assured that when I do finally get those pictures up, I will paste a link in this blog.

This week has been fairly easy for teaching. Nov. 1, All Saints Day, is a national holiday, and many people are taking Wednesday afternoon and Friday off as well, so it´s a short week. Today is also Halloween (HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!), so my lesson plans have revolved around that and I´m bascially using the same lesson in all my classes so I don´t have much planning to do. Nice!

Tonight am going to a Halloween Party at friend Katie´s place. Katie is originally from Kansas, went to school in Boston, and now is married to a Spaniard and working at an international pharmaceutical company. She did the TEFL course in August but was in the other location, so I didn´t really get to know her until after the course was over. She is a gorgeous, super-sweet girl. Reminds me very much of Jane in Austen´s Pride and Prejudice. Anyway, she´s promised that there will be several straight, single Spanish men at the party tonight. Is a good opportunity to practice my Spanish anyway.

bad dream

This morning I woke up from a bad dream. I was in the U.S., and it was the start of a long weekend. I was looking for people to hang out with, but then I found out, one by one, that all my friends were going away with their partners or with other friends for the weekend. I felt extremely lonely as each friend dropped by to say goodbye on their way out of town. I felt very left out and abandoned; I was crying. But then Brad gave me a really nice, long hug and I started to feel better. I began to realize that the reason everyone was stopping by was because they loved me, not because they were leaving me.

I think this is a really interesting dream, considering the fact that it was I who left my friends and family at home, and not they who abandoned me.

I also think it's interesting that in the dream Brad's partner was Dannon and he got really jealous when Brad hugged me and thought that Brad & I were having sex. My guess is that Brad-of-the-dream is an amalgum of my closest friends at home...not sure why there would be jealousy from the partners though.

this is me being responsible

Tonight I had to choose between buying a bottle of wine or buying a 16oz. bottle of orange juice. In the end I chose the orange juice because our apartment is freezing and everyone on the metro is coughing and sneezing. (ha ha I rhymed! as my dad would say: "I´m a poet and don´t know it.")

If I have to choose between buying a space heater and buying a sweater, I'll choose the sweater because it has more uses. I can take it with me, whereas the space heater is only good for heating up my room.

Today the roommates and I went to the Starbucks at Plaza de España to escape the cold of our apartment and to have a different view while we worked. I have to say it was rather pleasant. Starbucks is one of the few places in Madrid that don´t allow smoking, and it has a great view of the plaza and a couple of busy intersections. Afterwards, we went and found a bookstore we´d read about in In Madrid that sells used English-language books and I ended up buying two books for €11. Books! I have books to read!!! I bought Terry Pratchett's Maskerade, and Margaret Atwood's Cat's Eye. My roommates have gone out tonight, but I have opted to stay in and read Terry Pratchett. Joy and rapture!

Tomorrow is the TtMadrid hike in the mountains north of Madrid. Nature! Trees and rocks and dirt! Will be cold, but so worth it. I'll try to remember to bring my camera. We leave the Atocha train station at 2pm and won't get back until 9:30pm or so. Am glad I don't have class Monday morning, as I still have half my lesson planning to do. But will get up early (i.e. before 11am) tomorrow to work on it.

way too fantastic

When I went to France for three weeks after graduating high school, my favorite place by far was Chamonix, a tiny village nestled in the Alps that attracts tons of tourism because it´s at the foot of a glacier. I raved to my mom about the stone paved streets, cute little shops, gorgeous mountain views, etc. etc. But when it came time to look at the pictures, the only one I had taken in Chamonix was of a condom dispenser affixed to the side of a building. I was awed by the natural beauty, but the public condom dispenser was too novel to escape immortalization.

Tonight I wished I had my camera. If I could have only one picture of Madrid, it would be this: a vending machine in the parking garage underneath the Plaza de España, one of the ones with a glass front so you can see the selection of candies, chips, soda, etc. This vending machine contained everything from baby pacifiers and small boxes of feminine hygiene products to fruit juice and chips. But the bulk of the offerings, right in the middle where you normally look first, were several different kinds of condoms. And then you noticed the rather large bottle of sensual masage gel/lubricant. And then, best of all, not just one but actually TWO different brands of vibrating cock ring. As Shannon would say, "I almost shat myself." I WILL be returning for a picture.

freakin' hilarious

Shannon was looking for lesson ideas on handoutsonline.com tonight and came across a handout for elementary students on giving advice. The handout features several fictional letters to a Dear Abby type character (whom I guess the Brits call agony aunts), and here is a sample:

Dear Aunt Jennifer,
I've recently started taking lessons with a beautiful English teacher. She's 28, single and ahs a wonderful smile. I'm in love with her, but I'm only 18, and I have really bad spots. I also have no confidence. Should I tell her how I feel?
From Shy in Seoul.

Dear Shy in Seoul,
No - you shouldn't date your teacher, even if she is beautiful. It's an awful idea. English teachers are poor and they drink too much. They also go back home after 18 months. Why not wait for your spots to go? You might meet someone much better.

Ha ha! It makes the whole thing so much better that both Shannon and Kez have students who crush on them. So amazing!

more observations on madrid

Security guards patrol the cercanías trains, moving from car to car, looking for suspicious unattended luggage, people with their feet up on the seats, and panhandlers. Some of the panhandlers, dirty and disheveled, merely pass up and down the aisle mumbling, palm outstretched. Others proceed to give a speech upon entering the car, sharing their tales of unemployment, sick family members and pregnant wives, before collecting money. And last week there were a couple of guys who got on at Méndez Álvaro, whipped out their guitars, and began to serenade the rest of the passengers. But before they had finished their song, we stopped at the next stop and their song was cut short as they caught site of a couple of security guards waiting to board the train. Luckily for the musicians, the guards boarded the car behind ours, so the guys had time to get off the train before they were spotted and fined or arrested.

At the supermarket there is an entire aisle, both sides, devoted to canned fish and seafood. There is also an entire refrigerated aisle, again both sides, dedicated to yogurt and yogurt drinks. There are several aisles of wine and half of an aisle for UHT milk (the kind that doesn´t have to be refrigerated and doesn´t expire for several months), but there is only an endcap for fresh milk. The cereal aisle is broken up into three sections: sugary cereals, muesli, and corn or bran flakes.

If you had never spoken to a Spaniard, you´d think they were a very serious and displeased lot. They almost never seem to smile in public, not even when speaking with their friends. And it´s more than not smiling, they actually seem to make an effort to look unimpressed or displeased with everything. Whereas Americans will flash you a smile to show you they are friendly, the Spanish version of friendliness toward strangers is a blank expression and a "dime" (translated as "tell me"). But, as Shannon and Kez's experience getting locked out of their former apartment proves, Spaniards will go out of their way to help a person in need...much farther than most Americans, including myself, would go. And once you get them into the classroom, office or bar, they are all friendliness and smiles. And it's not the fake kind of friendliness and smiles you can run into in the States, where people are sometimes only friendly because they feel obligated to be so and their smiles are thin and don't reach their eyes. They're absolutely genuine as far as I can tell. My students always greet me with a smile and remember to ask how I am in return. We often laugh in class...at my jokes, at my confusion, at some of their sillier errors.

Speaking of silly errors, I've had a couple absolutely hilarious ones. One of my private students read the word "tights" as "tits" the other day. And in my pre-intermediate class last week a student was trying to get his classmates to guess the word "rice" and he didn't know the word "grain" but we had talked about peppercorns, so he improvised but slightly misremembered the word and said, "it has lots of porns." Oh my.

A hard morning in some ways, very good in others. And it´s only 7:30am!

Am feeling super aware of the money situation. Technically I do have money I can access, but I was trying not to because I´d rather save it for traveling or settling into Portland when I move back home. Have realized that I hate being poor anywhere.

But had a very good email/Facebook morning. Nice long message from Aunt Debbie, whose birthday is today. Nice long message from Andrew, good friend and ex. Short but sweet message from my mom. And a Facebook friend request from one of my favorite former students at Clark U. Feel loved.

things i don't know how to do in spain

-ride the metro system efficiently (if indeed it is possible)
-make small talk with the landlords
-ask for cuts of beef or pork
-ask for anything that comes by the kilo or gram, such as cheese or meat
-find out if anybody knows what cottage cheese or ricotta cheese is and where I might be able to get some
-respond to old men who go on and on for minutes on end about how guapa I am while I'm standing in line at the productos lactosas counter
-get more Aleve once I run out

tengo ganas de leer

Somehow when I was at home, surrounded by shelves full of read and unread books, I had lost my taste for reading. Maybe it was too much effort to choose something to read. Maybe it was easier to watch What Not to Wear on TLC or Kathy Griffin´s My Life on the D-List. But now that I´m here with no literature to read save Whitman, I´m dying for my unread or partially read books. Any of them. I would gladly dive in to one of the short story or short short story anthologies, or a collection of stories by Joyce Carol Oates, or the 2006 Best American Non-Required Reading, or a book of poetry, or several books at once: bring ´em on! Why O Why didn´t I bring more books with me?! Partly because I didn´t expect them to be so expensive here. And partly because I hadn´t really felt like reading anything but candy (e.g. Terry Pratchett novels) for quite some time. But at this moment I would give a nut for a good book to read. Like a brazil nut or even a walnut.

A couple of passages from verse 33 of Whitman´s "Song of Myself" that caught my particular attention:

Agonies are one of my changes of garments.
I do not ask the wounded person how he feels, I myself become the wounded person,
My hurts turn livid upon me as I lean on a cane and observe.
***
Not a mutineer walks handcuff´d to jail but I am handcuff´d to him and walk by his side.
(I am less the jolly one there, and more the silent one with sweat on my twitching lips.)

Not a youngster is taken for larceny but I go up too, and am tried and sentenced.

Not a cholera patient lies at the last gasp but I also lie at the last gasp,
My face is ash-color´d, my sinews gnarl, away from me people retreat.

Askers embody themselves in me and I am embodied in them,
I project my hat, sit shame-faced, and beg.

blasts from the past

OH. MY. GOD. Mr. T with "Treat your mother right": http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=XgS0DefPXhY&NR=1

One of my all-time favorite cartoon moments! Brak from Space Ghost Coast to Coast: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=mGXG00nCrYA

The intro from my favorite childhood cartoon, The Care Bears: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=lNm5Hqow78I

Who needs TV when you have YouTube? =*)

Labyrinth

Tonight I shared my favorite movie of all time, Labyrinth, with my roommates. Shannon had never seen it before. I am careful to warn her that the movie is very 80´s. As the opening credits are rolling and David Bowie is singing "Underground," Shannon says, "This music is horrific." "I´m just gonna pretend you said ´terrific,´" I say. Throughout the movie Shannon laughs at key lines and Bowie´s package. Then, at the end, she says, "That was either the best movie I´ve ever seen or the worst. I can´t make up my mind." Clearly I have seriously misjudged her level of intellectualosity.

the highlights

The high points of last night:
-socializing with other TtMadrid graduates at a nice Irish bar near Estrecho
-realizing that I have quite a few friendly acquaintances here and at least two people outside of my roommates whose company I enjoy immensely
-discovering that the Irish bar has BUFFALO WINGS!!!
-discovering that the Irish bar also has DARTS!

The low point of last night:
-missing the last metro train home and having to take the night buses but getting stuck at Plaza Cibeles because there was some kind of taxi strike or something that royally screwed up the traffic patterns and having to walk from Cibeles to a bus stop on Gran Via and then get on a jam-packed bus for a 30 min. ride home so that the whole adventure took about four hours and we didn´t get home until 5:15am. Yuck.

What I´m looking forward to in the next few months:
-teaching my classes & getting to know my students better
-taking a hike in the mountains just north of Madrid with TtMadrid folks on Sunday, Oct. 28th
-getting my Oct. paycheck
-going to Granada for a day or two with my roommates over the four-day weekend (Nov. 1-4)
-visiting Sam G. in Nottingham Nov. 9-11 & basking in the English weather (rain and clouds, hooray!)
-going to PARIS!!! with Shannon Nov. 23-25. Woohoo!!! Paris in the fall!!! Paris Paris Paris!
-going home for Christmas and getting to see all my family and friends!

Do you realize that here it is, mid-October already, and the weather in Madrid every day is sunny with highs in the low 70´s? Meanwhile Portland is having lovely normal fall weather I see: highs in the 50´s and rain every day. It´s just so completely odd. Supposed to be like this all week, and then next week temps drop all the way into the high 60´s. The only thing that makes it fall is that the overnight lows are in the 40´s, so the mornings are chilly and the afternoons are warm and people run around getting colds because there´s a 20 or 30 degree difference between morning temp and afternoon temp and we´re putting on and taking off layers all the time and going from the chill air outside to the sauna of the metro. I bought orange juice last night because there´ve been so many people on the trains sniffling and sneezing and coughing and I don´t really feel like getting sick again so soon.

I have to say, though, that when you´re walking around in the afternoon, the temperature here is just about perfect and the sun on your back feels lovely. And though I´m complaining about the weather here, part of me is also secretly enjoying it. I´m just nervous about the possibility of getting sick again. And I would like to wear my lovely green peacoat but so far it´s been too hot.

Last night´s craving: a chicken deluxe burrito from Laughing Planet. Hold the cilantro.

Special moment today: a mother in her 30´s helps her young son take a dump in the sidewalk planter in front of the community medical center. Am really trying to understand and appreciate the culture that allows Spaniards of all ages to do their business--sex as well as potty--in public.

This morning was absolutely gorgeous: cool and grey. The trees and I thoroughly were made happy by the hint of moisture in the air as well.

Since most of the non-pasta dishes I know how to cook require ingredients that either they don´t have here or I don´t know how to ask for, I´ve been cooking lots & lots of pasta. Is getting a little old, to tell the truth. Yesterday I was fantasizing about all the restaurants I want to eat at when I get back to the U.S. Am especially missing good Mexican food. Would kill for a good chicken mole about now. With SOUR CREAM! Can´t find sour cream here. Or cottage cheese. Or cheddar cheese...though they have something they call cheddar and which tastes like poo. Not literally, of course. The other problem is time to cook. Pasta is quick and easy; other dishes take a little more time. But oh, my, could really go for a box of Kraft mac & cheese. Drool, drool...

Am hungry, in case you hadn´t noticed. And tired too. I almost fell asleep on the metro on my way back from my a.m. class. Oh yes, and let´s not forget the fact that I was 30 minutes late to my class this morning because a) the metro lines were all screwed up and b) in order to circumnavigate the metro mess I tried walking to my class location from a different metro stop than usual and got lost. But my student, who happens to be one of my favorites, was totally cool about the whole thing and said that the Madrid metro system goes screwy from time to time and she knew it wasn´t my fault.

Yesterday I figured out that I teach thirteen lessons a week. Most days I only have 3 lessons, but Tuesdays (today) are my long days, where I´m up at 6am and home after my last class around 10pm. I could use a nap or two. Sometimes a three day weekend still isn´t enough. But I love the teaching; I only wish I could teleport from class to class instead of squeezing onto overpacked trains. On the bright side: at least it´s not the Paris metro I´m riding. If memory serves, that one is stinky.

pictures

Here´s the link to see my Casa de Campo pictures from today: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=17416&l=c4804&id=595126014

A little history behind Casa de Campo. When I mentioned to a Spanish woman that I lived near Casa de Campo, her response was "Muchas putas," which means, "Many whores." As you will see in the photos, there are indeed many places one could take a client for a little lie-down. Unfortunately did not witness any mating today, but there´s always the next trip. Some parts of the park were nicer than I thought (paths away from the "lake" for example) and others were less nice (the "lake" for example). Overall had a lovely afternoon.

not a madrileña

I have to admit: even though I think I´ve tried really hard to like Madrid, it´s not my ideal city. I know there are lots of people who are very happy here, but I want to live in a beautiful place with beautiful architecture and be able to see mountains. Sevilla doesn´t have a mountain view that I remember, but it´s a gorgeous city, so I was more content living there (culture shock aside). I´m a little disappointed that Madrid is so ugly. It´s not to say that there´s nothing beautiful in Madrid, but the overall impression I´m left with is not favorable. Ah well.

Shannon thinks I´ll feel better about living here once I have money enough to start traveling. I´m sure she´s right. And my realization about Madrid doesn´t change my plans for that very reason: I still want to travel and this is an easy place to travel from.

Today Shannon is taking me to a great big park called Casa de Campo, just a few stops up the metro line from our ´hood. There´s a lake there and some hills and something approaching wilderness, so I´m very excited to see that. I so miss the mountains and trees and green of Oregon. I´m sure this won´t be the same, but it might give me just enough of a fix to keep me going. I´ll take some pictures so you can see what it looks like too.

On the upside, the gathering I arranged last night was a smashing success, despite the fact that the bar I´d had my heart set on closed 20 minutes after we got there and we had to go elsewhere. Unfortunately no pics of that. I´ve been very bad and have not remembered to take my camera with me when I go out. I´ve made a mental note to do something about that. So far has not sunk in.

yesterday & today

Yesterday´s plan: sleep in, go up to the school at Estrecho to print a few things, come home and make dinner for self, spend a quiet evening home alone watching movies.

The actual events: slept in, went up to the school at Estrecho with Shannon and printed a few things, got sucked into conversation with Mary and Craig (both TtMadrid employees), Tem (a director of the school) and Andy (her husband) showed up and we all went out for a caña (small beer), ended up going out to eat at the Plaza de España parking garage Chinese restaurant with Tem and Andy while the rest of the group went to make dinner at Katie´s house, then back to Tem & Andy´s place to watch Absolutely Fabulous (which I had never seen before) and crashed on their couch. On way home this morning decided to stop by Carrefour to buy fresh milk (because can only buy UHT milk elsewhere) and Twinnings tea and then thought I might as well walk home and only got a tiny bit lost. Arrived home about noon today. Must say I enjoyed myself immensely.

Today´s plan: do a little more grocery shopping, cook some lunch, do some lesson planning, then off for an intercambio at 8pm and then meeting a group of people at the Lista metro stop at 10pm for cañas and tapas. Am looking forward to it because I will get to see people I don´t often have the chance to talk with. Plus I love organizing gatherings.

This morning on the metro a woman smelled like a lilac bush in full bloom: wonderful. But yesterday Shannon sat next to a man on the train who smelled "like baby powder and shit." Not so nice. It took several minutes for the smell to fade from her nostrils after she´d moved away from him.

On my way home from my morning class there were not one but two men with dark brown hair and blue eyes. Love it! Have also noticed that I very much like the way a man´s legs look in jeans. Especially the knee and quad when he´s sitting down. I suppose it´s a strange part of the body to find attractive.

moments in public transportation

Shannon and I are on our way home Sunday afternoon. A youngish man (20´s? 30´s?) gets on the metro, makes a beeline for us, and proceeds to stand over us, staring intently at us with a half-grin on his face for several minutes. What can we do but laugh? It´s not flattering; just creepy and ridiculous. But he takes our laughter as a compliment and tries to laugh with us, which only makes us laugh harder, our faces turning red.

Some days the platform at Puente Alcocer smells like it´s been hosed down with piss. Today was one of those days.

I worship the YouTube

I never realized how completely wonderful YouTube is until I found some old-school Care Bears episodes on it today. Hooray for the Care Bears! They had a strong influence on my moral development as I was growing up. And the other day I found a bunch of clips of Ricky Gervais (from BBC´s The Office and HBO´s Extras), including an interview in five parts he did with Christopher Guest. So completely fabulous!

Am feeling extraordinarily lazy today. Have only left the house for a total of ten minutes, and that was in order to go get some post-lunch ice cream. But after being on the go all week long, it feels really nice to have time to just sit around, watch YouTube, do some lesson planning...and actually have time to make food. I´ve practically been eating all day. But now Shannon & I are off to meet a TtMadrid friend for a drink. I was supposed to have an intercambio tonight, but I didn´t want to go out twice tonight and my intercambio couldn´t meet later because she had other plans, so we´ve postponed our meeting until next week. I feel bad for breaking plans, but in the end I´m just looking out for my needs.

moments in Spain

A few days ago walking to the metro: suddenly realized that they´ve planted rosemary bushes along the sidewalks. Smells fantastic.

This morning when I left the house: mist hangs in the air; pitch black, cloudless sky; a thumbnail moon and one bright star.

On the train to work: the man next to me had a runny nose and didn´t have any kleenex. I sympathized but was hesitant to offer him a tissue because I didn´t want him to think I was weird. In the end, compassion won out. He was surprised but took a tissue with a muchas gracias. De nada I replied, and that was that.

When I got to work: I was early, but tried the door anyway--turned the handle and pulled--and found it locked as expected. 8 o´clock comes and goes and my student´s secretary still hasn´t come in. I continue to wait. A random woman walks by and asks, Is the door locked? I think so, I say, and try it again just to make sure. Turn handle and pull: still nothing. At 8:15 my cellphone rings. It is my student´s secretary asking where I am. I´m at the door and it´s locked, I say. No it isn´t, she says. Yes it is, I say, and try it again just to be sure. This time I push instead of pull and the door opens. Oh. Completely embarrassed that I am fifteen minutes late to my class because I couldn´t figure out how to open a door that I have come through three times before.

very busy and important

Am still alive, just very busy. Yay!

Spent Sunday at Retiro Park at the TtMadrid picnic and Sunday night planning my three Monday classes. Spent Monday night planning for today´s classes. Here was today: alarm went off at 5:45am, got up & took shower, got dressed (remembered to put pants on), left house about 6:30am to find my new morning class in the Avenida de América area (did find it & even had time for a cup of coffee beforehand in the café across the street), returned from morning class at 10:30ish, went and paid rent then in search of the apartment building where I was to have my last class of the day (found it), came back home, took a 40 minute nap (desperately needed), got up & left at 1pm in order to get to my 2pm class in time, taught for an hour & came home, had just enough time to eat something and read a letter that came airmail from Grandma then off to teach my 6pm class, taught 6-7:30 but went a little over then had to book it to get back to my ´hood and make my last class of the day in time (arrived ten minutes late at 8:40), taught until 9:40, got home a little after 10pm and changed into jeans, went out to eat at a local café because I have no food in the house, and now it´s a little after 11pm and I haven´t done any lesson planning for tomorrow yet. Will probably be up for at least another hour preparing for tomorrow morning´s lesson, then up at 6am again for another full day of teaching. This morning was a century ago. But am definitely enjoying the teaching and I am happy to be busy, even if it´s insane.