Today at lunch I sat with two male faculty members (F1 & F2) and two other female staff members (S1 & S2). This is my attempt at reconstructing part of our conversation.
F1: I've always dreamed of doing an art exhibit with children's art all hung up on a long row of refrigerators.
Me: Oh! You know what would be really cool? If it just looked like children's art but was really stuff like blood and guts and...dinosaurs raping people.
F2: Dinosaurs raping people? It sounds like you have a fantasy there. (F1 & F2 are sniggering.)
Me: That's f'ing disgusting.
F2: Did you say "f'ing"?
Me: Yes.
F2: That's as close as you've ever come to swearing around me.
Me: That's because you're here. (Pause while F1 continues to snigger at dinosaur rape fantasy accusation and F2 laughs at both accusation and almost-swear-incident. I can't bear to be outdone by F2's crack about dinosaur rape fantasy.) But you know, their tails are ribbed for her pleasure.
(S1 almost falls off her stool and covers her mouth with her napkin to keep food from flying out while she shakes with laughter.)
F1 & F2: What?
Me: I said, dinosaur tails are ribbed for pleasure.
(Awkward silence while I grin smugly and bask in the glory of my strange wit.)
F2: You have a very twisted sense of humor.
Me: Oh, come on! The point is the irony! I have a dark sense of humor, not a fantasy of being raped by a reptile.
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