Octsoberfest Week 4

Summary: 0 cigarettes smoked, 0 alcohol units drunk, 0 doses anti-smoking drugs taken, 5 cups Gypsy Cold Care tea drunk in two days, possibly back to Eating All the Things.

A very, very, VERY long time ago.

These last four weeks have stretched out for an eternity. And it's still not over yet. Who the hell gave October permission to last more than four weeks?!?

I've had two very important realizations this week.

Octsoberfest Week 3

Summary: 7 cigarettes smoked, 4 alcohol units drunk, 0 doses anti-smoking drugs taken, have stopped Eating All the Things.

Madrid, 2007. Photo by S. H. Aeschliman.

Can we focus for a moment on the fact that I was mostly really good this week? I mean, aren't cigarette cravings supposed to go away after 14 days? But they did not. And yet every day I continued to say "no," even though I really wanted to say yes sometimes. Even though, if the world really does end on December 21, 2012, I will be really pissed off that I went through all this effort to make decisions that were in the best interest of my long-term health at the expense of immediate gratification. The one good thing about this week was that my appetite seemed to go back to normal. I stopped Eating All the Things and even lost a couple pounds.

Octsoberfest Week 2

Summary: 0 cigs smoked, 0 alcohol units drunk, 1 dose anti-smoking drugs taken, many cups of tea drunk, many walks & deep breaths taken, 2 romance novels read.

Photo by David Aeschliman

Okay. So, um, you know how when you've had a cold for a week or more and you can't breathe out your nose and you're really uncomfortable, but at the same time you've become resigned to the discomfort because you don't remember what it felt like to be able to breathe freely? Well, the beginning of the second week of Octsoberfest was like that. Despairing acceptance of the near-constant craving for cigs. I couldn't remember what it felt like not to crave.

Octsoberfest Week 1 in Review

Summary: 0 cigarettes smoked, 0 alcohol units drunk, 3 doses anti-smoking drugs taken, lots & lots of food and tea consumed, no one murdered (yet). 

Madrid, Sept. 2010. Photo by S. H. Aeschliman.

Day 1: "Quitting smoking, no drinking for a month. Let the battle begin."
Surprised that most cravings were assuaged by reminding self that I'm a non-smoker now. First day easier than expected, despite extreme irritability. Part of brain thinks this is just temporary and is waiting until The Time for Being Good is over. Drank tea, water and coffee all day long; ate more than I needed (e.g. most of a frozen pizza for lunch, quarter package Cheese-Its for a snack, etc.), especially as felt low-energy and did not get much exercise.

Day 2: "Woke up thinking about cigarettes. Is gonna be a toughie." 
Cravings stronger today. Not very irritable, mostly just feel desperate. Can feel willpower waning; starting to try to justify smoking "just one" or promising self a cig at end of the month as reward for not smoking all month...which kind of defeats the purpose. Suppose it is the bargaining stage of grief. Yesterday was denial. Resorted to drugs: took the lobelia inflata for cigarette craving. Tasted sweet & dissolved slowly, which gave mouth something to do. Took the edge off. Having sad thoughts though & feel like crying. On plus side, have more energy: took two walks instead of one. On down side: eating everything (e.g. finished box of Cheese-Its). Turns out the irritability pills (nux vomica) are also supposed to help with the desire to Eat All the Things, so will try those tomorrow.

Octsoberfest

Yes, you read that right: Oct-sober-fest. I am giving up drinking alcohol for the month of October.

Today is the first day of my self-employment (eek!), and I've decided to quit smoking Oct. 1. As much as I like to smoke, I don't like being addicted, and my experience is that it's easier to quit smoking when undergoing a big life transition, such as a job change. Another reason for quitting smoking is because it's damned expensive, and I can use all the financial slack I can get now that I'll no longer have a steady paycheck coming in.

Which brings me to the drinking: I have a tendency to chain-smoke when drinking, so I figured it'd be helpful to lay off the booze for a while. It'll also help me cut back on expenses, and it'll be an interesting health experiment. I'm curious about how I'll feel--whether I'll have more energy and be more clear-headed--when I'm not drinking 2-3 times per week.

I mentioned these goals to my co-workers at last night's farewell happy hour, and one of them expressed concern that they were too lofty. "That's a lot to take on all at once," she said. Perhaps. I imagine she was worried that I might get down on myself if I don't follow through. But the chance that I may fail is, to my mind, not a reason not to try. And besides, I have support: my friend-neighbor is also giving up smoking with me, and I have the support of other friends and family, including my regular drinking buddies, for which I am grateful.

So we shall see how it goes. Am a little bummed that I have to wait until November to try the bottle of fancy tequila my thoughtful, wonderful (ex-)co-workers bought me, but perhaps the delayed gratification will just make it that much sweeter.