Highlights of Madrid:
-seeing friends, former students, and my Spanish family
-hanging by the pool with Leslie
-going to Bar Colorado, my favorite Mexican bar in Madrid
-a night out with the bartenders of aforementioned Mexican bar
-eating at the Chinese restaurant under the Plaza de España, which I found out the locals call "the Blade Runner restaurant" because it looks like it could have been in that movie for its smallness and dinginess
-meeting Yoko No-No, Laurels new puppy (so freakin' adorable!!)
-drinking loads of Mahou, café con leche and tinto de verano
-tasting torreznos (fried cubes of fat), pickled pulpo (octopus) and tigre de mejillón (a mussel croquette)
-finding out what a fiesta del pueblo really is (think County Fair, but in the middle of a little town instead of at a fairground)
-getting to know Kate better and learning to play Rummi Cube from her while we sat in an elegant bar drinking the best tinto de verano and eating the best potato chips I've ever had
-buying €4 Dolce & Gabanna knock-off sunglasses
-seeing The Runaways (in English)
-having fun, wonderful interactions with new people
-spending more time with Spaniards in 2 weeks than I probably did my entire year living in Madrid
Realization: At home in the U.S. I have emotional walls up all the time that I didn't even realize I put there. There is a part of me that I withhold, that remains distant except with my closest friends and then sometimes even with them. These walls exist to dissuade people from asking me for things I cannot or will not give, hence to spare them from disappointment and to spare myself from the repercussions of disappointing others. This has a lot to do with the definition of "being a good person" that I've had for a long time: a good person is one who does whatever they can to meet others' needs, even at the expense of one's own emotional or physical health.
In Madrid I am a different person: confident, open, unafraid. I am more present with myself in the moment, less likely to be asking myself "what does this person want and how can I give it to them?" Instead I ask myself, "what do I want and how can I communicate that to this person?" Perhaps in Madrid I am less concerned with "being a good person," but I do know that in Madrid I enjoy myself more, have more satisfying interactions with people, and feel more anchored in myself.
I like my Madrid-self better than my U.S.-self. I am working on bringing my Madrid-self into the U.S. I am working on changing my definition of what it means to be a good person.
Click here for more photos of my trip to Madrid.
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